Well, here we are. Last full day in India. I know it sounds so cliche, but time really has gone so fast! Yesterday at church someone asked me what all I had done while on my trip to India. That being a question I heard a lot while I was here, I started on my ramble of things I had done. About half way through it, I realized that this "little ramble" was getting rather long. I have done so much. Sometimes I feel like TOO much (just kidding). Looking back on the two months I am SO grateful that I decided to stay longer than the original planned trip. I honestly can say that the trip would not have been even half as impactful without my extended time here in Pune. I love the contrast of the two months; the first getting exposed to so much so fast, the 2nd, getting to spend time investing in people and seeing real life in India. The combination of those 2 months has been life changing.

I realized yesterday, as I was talking with my host, that it has literally taken me the entire 2 months to just observe...I finally feel comfortable enough to start actual asking good questions and putting things together in my head. This just reaffirms to me that it takes SO long to actually start to understand another culture. Even 2 months seems like a short time to me now. It is funny because it seems like the longer I am here, the more I realize how much I DON'T know. But that is ok. I have talked to people that have been here for 11 years and they told me they still learn new things everyday. I like that.

I don't really know how to "end my blog" and sum up everything I have learned. I mean honestly this isnt really the end at all..in fact, the processing is just beginning in a lot of ways. As I wrote this blog throughout the trip, I tried to just let my thoughts flow out naturally and I never went back or proof read anything. So today I actually went back and started at the beginning and read the entire blog for the first time. It was interesting seeing how I have grown and changed even in this short time. Apart from the blog, I have been keeping a handwritten journal, mostly just for little notes and prayers that came in my head when I wasn't near a computer. I was looking back over that as well today and noticed something cool that I wanted to share; throughout my time here I often wrote out prayers to God just because it allowed me to get my thoughts out better. Some of the prayers were answered in really amazing ways...I would like to just share a few parts of them with you...

May 19th- Day 2

"Lord, I feel so small and far away. I see where I should be but feel like there is no way to get there. Help me break through these walls that are holding me back. Break me down so I can fully experience what you have for me. Push me beyond my limits and make me need you! I'm scared, but I have to be; I'm lost, but I am looking. I want to know your love so I can give your love to others. Amen."

May 24th-

"...I have been thinking about unconditional love today. If Your love is truly unconditional, it should amaze me right? What if I have just accepted that conditional love of my friends and family as unconditional so I don't really understand how great Your love really is. Show me what Your love really looks like..."

June 29th-

"Dear God, I am feeling so restless and useless. Fill me with your hope and peace. I want to hear you call and respond accordingly. If you tell me to go, I'll go; if you tell me to stay, let me accept that and rest. Thank you that you are a God who answers prayers and you are so big and powerful. Continue to show me your power. Keep my eyes and heart open to seeing you in small ways and allow those small moments to deeply penetrate my soul. Let them satisfy me and make my whole. Lord I know that I will only find rest in you so just allow me to know you are present and allow me to trust you recklessly, even when I don't know what is to come in the very next minute of my life. Let me share in your extreme compassion for all people, including myself. Continue to help me to walk humbly as I do my best to serve you here, knowing fully well that although my best will never be good enough alone, with you it is more than enough. Thank you! Amen."

July 8th-

"Hey God, I want to spend this moment praising you for being so faithful to me! When I am down, you allow me to stay there just long enough to learn something then you rush in to rescue me and bring me new life. I thank you that you allow me to be content in silence or in busyness. I pray that I can continue to spend my times of silence pondering you and talking with you. It is hard to use my extra time, whether we are waiting in a line or driving in the car, to focus on you. But I pray that my desire each day, first and foremost, will be set on knowing you more. I pray that I don't think too much about this week to come and that I can live in the reality of You and experience each day as if it is my last. Allow me to process what I have seen, be intentional about what I am doing, and be hopeful for the future. But most of all, let me be reminded each day that it is not about me, but rather all the world is in motion because You exist! Praise the God who is to big yet so tender! Amen."

Thank you all for reading and praying...this has been quite the trip. I am pretty sure I did NOTHING that a "typical tourist" to India does, but because of that my trip was all the more rich. I can't wait to talk to you all more in person or phone or email...don't hesitate to contact me! Love you all!

-Matt

God is so faithful! So as most of you know, last week was rather tough for me and I was really praying for God to bring something new for me here...well, He answered and in a big way!

I love how God can literally connect ANYONE with anyone, there are no limits in what He can do. So when I worked in Houston last summer I met the President and VP of the organization. They were a husband wife team and they had told me at that time that they were planning on leaving the organzation and joining a new org that works in India. So I hadn't really talked to them at all since last summer but last week I got a facebook message from her saying that she was reading my blog and saw I was in Pune and she said she had many great contacts for me here. She gave me the names of a few people and said I would benefit greatly from contacting them. Ok, so Matt 2 months ago might not have even done anything with this offer just because it seemed a like a long shot and it was pretty random, but I felt like I really needed to contact them and see what they were doing. She gave me two girls names and so we starting talking on facebook. THey told me that their father was the president and pastor of this church/development program called Hindustani Covenant Church. They briefly described what they do, saying that they have many different projects throughout the city and throughout all of India. Project include work in the red light district, child labor, slums, mircofinance and more. I was very intrigued to say the least! I asked if there would be a time to meet with their father and talk about what I could see and they said I could come to their church on sunday morning and worship with them and then talk to him after. Sounded great! Then they added, "oh yeah, but the whole service is in Hindi!" Woah! Even though I hardly know ANY hindi, I decieded this would be a great learning experience and a great chance to grow and be a little uncomfortable! So Sunday came around and my host dropped me off at the church. Of course I was early and hardly anyone was there, but i just sat down near the back and waited. The service started promptly at 9 and there was still no sign of the people i was looking for. I realized I didn't even know what they really looked like so i was hoping they would find me (which wouldn't be too hard, since I was the only white person there!) Finally after about 20 minutes into the service a lady came up to me and said "are you Matt?" I said yes and she told me to come up near the front and somone would translate for me. Initially the thought of someone translating the whole service to me made me feel a little awkward, but she led me to this nice man who quietly gave me the play by play throughout the service. The service lasted over 3 hours, and despite not really understanding any of the words, I really felt God's presence there. It reminded me of how big God really is; I loved seeing people worshiping the same God that I do in a totally different language. It just was a nice reminder that we live in a big world and the way we worship may look and sound different but if we are all worshipping the same Jesus, then it doesn't matter! I loved just being there and getting to worship with them. During the long prayers I decieded to pray my own prayers since I couldn't understand what they were saying...it was a nice time to talk with God. Even though the service was pretty different, I still felt like the general flow of the service was similar to my church at home.

At one point in the service, when they were talking about all the ministries they support and help, they showed a video of some Christians in East India being beaten and persecuted. I guess I knew things like that happened all the time around the world, but seeing the very graphic video of Muslim extremists kicking, punching and beating the Christians was very hard to swallow. About a minute into the video as tears were coming down my face, I had to turn away. I think those images will forever be ingrained in my mind. It was such a stark reminded about how free we really are in America. It almost disgusts me. We have so much freedom and we daily take it for granted...I know feeling guilty for the life God has blessed me with is not the answer, but it is hard not to ask that question; God why do I have so much and so many others have nothing?? That is a question I will probably always grapple with... If not guilt, things like this remind me of the responsibility I have to use my gifts and freedoms to help those who are suffering. Later that day, those images still haunted my thoughts as I wondered to myself, If I was torchured and beaten just because i was a Christian, would I still be one? I mean my first instinct answer would be Yes of course...but I really had to think about deeply about that after seeing that video. We have NO idea what it is like to be persecuted for our faith...if it wasn't so "easy" to be a Christian in the states, I really wonder how many people would still choose to follow Christ. I think we often forget that being a Christian doesn't mean everything becomes easy. Jesus suffered. period. And if we are called to follow in his example, we have to be ready to suffer as well. I am not saying we should go out and hurt ourselves or something, but we need to know that with the joy of truly knowing Christ come suffering and pain and many hardships. I know personally, my faith has grown only because of sufferings I have endured during my life.

Ok, anyway, back to the story...so after church I met the family of the pastor. They have three girls around my age, 2 of which are going to college in Chicago. The mother offered for me to come back to their home and have lunch with their family and talk there. I graciously accepted and we all headed back. After getting to their home, I stared talking with the pastor and asking him about what he does. WOW! I didn't realize just who i was talking to...He was the president of this HUGE development organzation that literally works all over the country and is headquatered here in Pune. He explained to me their different projects and their vision. I was blown away. How was it possible that God could someone bring me into the living room of this family who was doing all the things that I am so passionate about!?! The next thing I know, he told me that he would arrange people to take me around to all the projects in the city the next two days!!! So lets just recap here; one day prior, I didn't even know these people and now they have graciously let me into their home, served me ameal, and told me they would bascially take me around for the next 3 days!! God is so good!

I had just been praying for a little change. I love working at the shop, but something inside of me wanted to see more of the city than just the nice area that the shop is located. I knew people were suffering in this city and I really wanted to see and learn about that side too. Could I have gotten a better answer to that prayer? I am still a little blown away if you can't tell!

Ok, so the next day I met 2 of the daughters and 2 other men from the church at the church and we set off to visit some of the projects. Today they said we would head to the redlight district and see what they were doing there. They explained that they work with prostitutes, eunichs, transgender and male prostitutes. We drove into the old part of the city and met a woman there who they said was in charge of the projects. She led us a little ways walking and then we reached the area in which she worked. Immediatly, women dressed in scandolous clothing began to approach us and even got a little aggressive, grabbing my hands and pulling me their way. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty uncomfrotable at first. We walked through them and then walked into one of the houses. There the woman in charge showed us what they do; they pulled out many big posters with which had information about safe sex and health education for the people there. They realize that while they would like to see the people working in that area to walk away from the sex business, they know that they make too much money and it takes a long time to actually make the change. Because of that, they focus a lot of health education and safe sex habits with the women. After we left that house, I was talking with one of the guys who was taking me around. He told me that the women who was in charge of the project who had just gave the presentation used to actually be a prostitute and was a transgender! She turned away from that work and later joined up with this church to help them with this ministry!! SHe actually lives on the street we were walking down! That blew my mind... what a witness to those other women. The church would have no way of entering this part of town as they told me it was very dangerous. But with this women, she has the respect of the girls and has had much success because she knows what it is like! wow! Later she led us into some of the sex shops that girls work in. They showed us the little rooms where people come to have sex with the women. I was thinking that what an unique look into this world I was getting to see, something that most people would never experience. Because all the sex workers respected her so much, we were allowed to enter freely into many other places of "business". At one point we walked into one place and a transgender man was putting on his/her makeup...the lady looked at me and said very bluntly "this is a man, putting on make-up..would you like to take a picture??" I politely denied, but had to laugh a little to myself at the way she asked. After we finished going around, we were led out of the area by two eunichs that help with the project. By the end of the day, I didn't really see them as being different, they were just people, working for the Kingdom of God in a really unique way. Most people in India shun those people, so it was funny to see the reaction of the people on the streets as they saw us walking and talking and sharing some mangos with them. Overall, it was a very uncomfortable but amazing day! I was excited to see what the next day would hold!

The next day I met the girls again at the church and we headed off to the slum projects they had. We drove quite a while but finally reached one slum area. They explained to me that many children in the slum are forced work even from a very early age in the markets and surrounding areas. They have a child labor project in which they provide an informal school for those children in which they teach them about the importance of education and more importantly they just love the kids and allow them to be play and have fun like children should. These kids were foreced to grow up way before they should have, so these schools are there to help them regain their childhood. We walked into a small one room building that they said used to be a temple but was converted into a small classroom for these child laborers. They began to sing songs and do dances around the room and of course wanted the guests to join in. I love getting to see children play and sing, it is such a powerful reminder of how we should live out our lives. Children always challenge me to live in the present. After they danced the teacher passed out old newspaper and the kids began to intensely pass it out amongst themselves. I didn't really know what they were doing with it until all of a sudden I was flooded with hand made flowers, boats, houses, planes and hats! Each child so eagerly trying to give me their creation. I literally couldn't hold all of the beaufitul crafts as every single child rushed up to me just to get their moment to show me what they had made. It was a very awesome moment. We said good bye and went on to our next stop.

Next we visited another slum where they were working with a micro finance program. Here we met with a woman who was in charge of their program and she explained (through an interpreter) what all they were doing. And let me tell you, they are doing A LOT! SHe said they give loans to many women to start their own small businesses, like sewing or craft making. THey also have a dozen of so Self Help Groups, where about 15 people come together, all bringing some money and then they start a business together. They are trying to teach the people the importance of saving their money and they have even connected many of the self help groups to local banks where they can recieve even larger loans to continue to grow their business. We met many women who had participated in the programs, most of which were proud to tell me that they had paid off their loans and their businesses were growing! Wow, how inspiring! They were doing many other educational classes, and also had many health clinics that were run through this program. I was so encouraged to hear about all the things this project was doing. We also visited a school in which the church was very active in supporting students. They were so gracious and offered us lunch and took me around to all the oldest classes to tell the students "good luck on your exams"-- the principal said they would love to hear that from a student from the U.S. ha! As we wer leaveing some of the girls from the school were recieving awards for winning some competition. They stopped the little cerimony when they saw me and said that the "foreigner" should distribute the awards. So I gave out the prizes to the girls who all graciously said "thank you sir" and then took pictures for the school! Pretty funny actually, but i was honored to help!

I still can't believe what I got to do these past three days... I mean these people literally dropped everything for someone they didn't know and took me around to see all these amazing things. What I thought would be a pointless "contact" turned into something so huge and something that will stand out for me when i think about my trip. I am so glad that I got to experience both "sides" of Pune. What a gift from God!

Ok, that is all for now! I have officially hit the less than one week mark for my time in india. I will be heading back to the states on the 15th. I can't believe that I have been here for 2 months. It has really flown by...but at the same time when i think about all the things I have seen and done, the list is long and almost overwhelming. My host joked today with me saying that I have "over-exposed" myself...ha I feel little bit like that sometimes, but I would much rather feel overexposed than under! I can't wait to see what these last few days hold!

Love you all!

Sometimes God slows life down because He wants you to see something.

God has really been persistent to make me just be still. and I have fought it. I am realizing that I like to be busy, which in and of itself is not a bad thing. But this week has reminded me that often times we just have to be still and wait. I think so often I want to "feel" God, which actually sounds kinda silly if you think about it. What does that even mean? I think I got to the point where I only felt close to God if I had some emotional experience. This week has shown me, among other things, that it is not about feeling God, but KNOWING Him, and that often looks very different. Sometimes to know God, you have to just wait on Him. It may seem like He is being quiet or has turned His back on you, but He hasn't. When you truly know God, "feeling" Him doesn't seem so important anymore.

This week has been perticularly difficult for me, not because it has been hard or straining, but more the opposite; God has forced me to be still and wait. I got to the point where I felt so restless and I felt so purposeless that I was about to break down. But then I realized, this time of waiting and silence I was experiencing was just what I needed. God was giving this time to me as an amazing gift. I think it is funny how I can say things so many times to others, but then when it comes to time to applying that to my own life, I fail miserably. I don't know how many times this trip I have said, "these kind of trips are not always about DOing something". But then of course, when I started to feel like i wasn't doing anything, I got upset and restless. My mom reminded me of the importance and power of prayer. Somehow I had forgotten that with out prayer, there is no way of me knowing God, and if that is my ultimate goal, shouldn't I be doing that? She reminded me that I might never have 10 days to just "be" and pray and listen. And could there be a better place to be in a posture of prayer; this country needs to much prayer and I am sitting here surrounded my people that need prayers. And the best part is, I have the time to do it! Jesus would just sit for days and just pray and be. I had been looking at this situation i was in all wrong; there was an abundance of things for me to "do" I just didn't see it. So now when I am working at the shop and as people constantly come in and out, I can be praying for them, even if I don't know them.

I so often just forget how powerful God is. That might sound silly, but even if I say i know God is powerful, often times they way I act would imply that i have to do it on my own. I think I am beginning to find a new side of God; God as the companion. It is almost embarressing to say, but despite being surrounded by people all day long here, I often get lonely. It is almost funny to me bacause India is one of the most crowded places in the world, and I don't think I have ever seen a place without people around, yet I still feel alone... how could that be? Again, I was looking at my situation with eyes that weren't focused on the right things; it is ok to feel lonely, and it is in that loneliness that I am forced to turn to God not just or comfort and peace, but for true companionship. Today, in trying to focus more on praying throughout the day, I realized how often my prayers begin to sound rehersed and "preachy", even when I am just praying to myself I still think in the back of my mind that i have to sound all proper. That is so funny to me...but today, as I was laying down for a little nap after work, I prayed, but not in a way of me thinking of speaking, but just had a time being with God. I realized that I didn't even need to say anything, and oftentimes my thoughts just get in the way.

Anyway, sorry I don't have anything "exciting" to update on. I have said this before I think, but since i have been here in Pune for over 3 weeks, I feel like I am just living normal life. The "honeymoon period" is more or less over and I am just in real life. Everything is still new everyday and super uncomfortable (in a good way), but I have to remember that normal daily life is often times a little slow. But at the same time, I have learned so much more from just getting to experience real life, as compared to a nonstop traveling and "excitment". I am glad I got to do that the first month i was here, but I am even more glad that i have this month here in Pune to contrast with it.

I started reading this book by Henri Nouwen called "Gracias" yesterday and it seriously couldn't have come to me at a better time... It is his journal of his trip to Latin America. Almost the entire first chapter sounded like I had written it (although he is a much better writer than I) but the ideas and thoughts and fears he was having were so similiar to mine as I am in India. It was almost surreal. I love how things like that happen.

I guess that's all for now. I hope this post wasn't depressing, in fact, I hope that it was rather hopeful. I feel much more hopeful. Nothing has really changed. Except I guess my perspective. I think I was almost embaressed to say before that this trip has been hard for me. I don't know why It is do difficult to be vulnerable and admit our fears. But I'll admit it; this is hard. Being alone, scared and unsure of anything to come can take it's toll on me. But at the same time it has made growth possible and I wouldn't change anything.

Nouwen, in the book talks about how it is often difficult for him to prayer and so when he wakes up in the middle of the night or even just throughout the day he prays "Lord, give me the desire to pray!" -- I have said that many times today.

Hello again! I just had to share with you a little bit of what happened today... So one of the guys, Yaseer, that works with me at the coffee shop had got his hair cut yesterday and I was in desperate need of a haircut myself so I asked if he could take me sometime to get it done. He said he would take me tommorrow since he had off and he also said he would take me around town and shopping for a few things I needed. So, today He came to pick me up and we hopped on his motercycle and went off. Yaseer is a muslim and when he picked me up he was wearing his full muslim traditional dress and he told me that after we were done he had to go to the mosque for prayer. As we were riding through town together I just got so full of joy because to me being with him and having him as my friend and being able to share a motercycle, a muslim and Christian, together, is so beaufitul to me. THAT is what life is about. It hard to really express the joy I feel right now through words, but as I write this tears fill my eyes as I think about the little bit of the Kingdom of God I got to be a part of today. I have got to see many different types of "ministries" and "evangelism" as i have traveled and met people here in India, but today it just reaffirmed for me that it is all about genuine relationships. Yaseer and I might be different in some ways, but is more ways, we are the same. I love that I get the privilage of being his friend as well as the other workers at the shop and everyone else I have met. I am their friend not because i have some hidden agenda but because I really just love them.

Two friends. One Muslim, one Christian. Sharing part of their lives with each other and more importantly, loving each other as friends. I want these kind of things to be what my life is about.

Something inside of me broke today. In a very good way.

love-

Hello again friends! Just want to share with you all a little of what is going on in my life these days...
I have been in Pune for almost 2 weeks! wow, can' believe it, time has gone by so fast! It has been such a great expereince so far being somewhere for a "long" period of time... I officially started working at the coffee shop last monday and have been working every morning from 10-4. I am actually getting pretty decent at making all the drinks now! Even the steamed milk and I are becoming better friends! It is funny because one of the girls that works there will say "Good coffee, matthew (matt-u)" if i do it good, but she will say nothing if I mess it up, and the last few days she has said more "good coffee's" than not, so I'd say that means i'm improving! ha! Probably the best thing about working there is getting close to the other staff...they are such fun people and have been SO gracious and accepting of me barging into their lives. Some of the guys have even taken me to their "neighborhoods" and i met their families and they have just been so welcoming! It took some of them a while to warm up to me, but even the one guy who doesnt' speak hardly any english and is so quiet attempted to talk to me with the best english he knew today! I was honored! Even the young bus boy, Sam told me today that we are "friends". They all have been such a blessing in my life already! They all still like to laugh at me and i still think they only keep me around because i am tall and can reach the togo boxes (they just laugh and laugh every time i reach to the top shelf with great ease) but nevertheless, i have enjoyed working there so much!
This past week, I got to do something i wasn't necessarily expecting to do, but i am so glad I got to; the owners of the guest house which i am staying in also help run a boys orphanage for gypsie boys. They were talking to me about it and said they are teaching english to help get the boys more on par with the other students in their school. I offered to come along and help teach, which they were happy for me to come! The first day was great, I had 4th grade boys and we worked on spelling words and they were so amazing and fun. I basically fell in love with them. After our lesson, my guest house owners took me to their friends home near by and we had a very traditional meal at their home. It is customary in india to serve only your guests when you have people over for dinner. You always eat after your guests leave. So it is a little awkward to be eating all this food as the people who prepared it just stand and watch. It got to be prety funny though actually as they would offer us more and more food and even if we said "No" they would proceed to dollop 4 spoonfuls on our plate. Needless to say, i was so full at the end of the night. I went back to teach english the next few afternoons, and it actually got to be pretty hard because they really didn't have any curriculum to go by. I felt rather helpless as i tried to get the boys to show me what they had been working on in school, but the language barrier was just too much. It eventually worked out, but i still left feeling like i could have done more.

Anyway, God has really been teaching me a lot of patience while I am here. I am realizing how much i like to be busy all the time. I am also realizing that many times I want to be busy so i don't have to deal with all the mess that is going on in my life. Being here and being forced to slow down and being relativly alone has made me confront myself and all my brokenness. This is a pretty daunting task, but it has been really good for me just be still and really focus on God and His unconditional love. I still get restless at times, but I feel like I am learning to wait and learning so much about Jesus in the process. I want to leave you all with some quote s from the book Lion and the Lamb that i mentioned in my previous post. This book has been so amazing and fell into my hands just a the perfect time...

"Salvation is joy at the thought of another day to push on into the unknown"

"Becoming a little child means celebrating reality, abondoning ourselves to what is."

"When Jesus 'turns away', it is not rejection but an invitation to follow him to a place I don't want to go. And that place is down a deep well to experience my sinfulness, brokenness, and powerlessness in a way that i had never known before."

"I believe Jesus calls us all to let go of the desire to appear good, to give up the appearance of being good, so that we can listen to the word within us and move in the mystery of who we are."

"Christ lives in us, and our sufferings are His passion continuing in the world."

"Blessed are you who laugh now, because you can bring the joy of Easter to others. But blessed are you only if you can laugh at yourself, if you don't take yourselves too seriously, if human living doesn't revolve around you and your needs. Only if your laughter means that you have let go in reckless confidence all that shackles you to yesterday, imprisons you in your small self today, and frightens you with the uncertainty of tomorrow. Blessed are you who laugh, because you are free!"

That is all for now--much love.

matt-

Latte anyone?

Wow...again, so much to update!! So I have officially been in Pune for almost one week...and I love it! God has been so good and has allowed everything to work out far better than I expected! I'll give a quick rundown of what is going on...
As I said before, the first night here was a little rough. Felt so alone and a little afriad/unsure of what was to come. God was quick to the rescue because the next morning I headed over the coffee shop that my host family owns and operates. Within about 30 minutes my host had introduced me to about 10 people and the next thing I know my new friend offered to take me around town and meet other people on his motorcycle. So I came back after one morning and had pretty much met the whole city! ha!
Pune is very westernized and has a good contrast of old india and new india. It is a University town, with over 100 different colleges throughout the city, so students are everywhere! But that makes it really fun and exciting! I was introduced to a couple of American guys my age that were working in the city and with the University. They have been really helpful in getting to know other people and getting to know the city. Thank God for nice people!
On Monday I started training at the coffee shop... for those of you who know me you are probably laughing right now because you know I don't even like coffee. But dispite that minor detail, I am have a blast working there!! After three days I actually feel like I know what I am doing... I am getting pretty good at making all the cold drinks like Frappacinnos and teas. The steamed milk is my weakness...it is hit or miss if you order a Latte or Cappucinno from me. But the other staff member, who are all Indian, are so nice and full of mercy (although I'm sure they think I am just a stupid white guy) They like to laugh (mostly at me) but I like to laugh at me too, so it works out great! The girls that work there like me because I am tall and can reach all the to-go cups... I am glad I am useful. or something. The coffee shop is such an amazing place, I wish you could all see it. My host family has really poured all of themselves into and it is basically their own type of ministry. They treat the workers fairly (which is so rare in India) and are truly Christ like examples for these young people. It is amazing. I am just honored to be a part of it, even for a month.
It has been so nice actually becoming part of the community here, and not just a tourist. Getting to see how real like in India works has been so exciting. Everyday I feel like I see something new and learn something new. I call india the "land of rules" and all these rules I don't understand. It has been such a humbling time (and pretty hilarious) just trying to attempt to understand daily life here (it is sooo different). My host (who is Indian) and I were having a conversation one day about the differences between Americans and Indians. We made a pretty good list of differences; First of all Indians are taught from a young age in school just how to memorize information, not really learn it, so because of that, many lack good sequential thinking skills. Also, many indians just know one way to do something and refuse to acknowledge any other alternatives. He also said that regard for human value is just less here. Culture here puts of stronger focus on out witting the other party, rather than just general concern for people. Now I know I have no clout to say any of this and these are huge stereotypes, but I am just simply stating what I have seen first hand. Anyway, basically my point is; everything here is so different...not bad at all..just so different. I love learning more everyday about this place and trying to put all these pieces together. I don't really expect to ever really "get it" but I am so glad that I am getting exposed to this culture that is so unlike what I already know..makes life much more exciting!
As this trip goes on, I have really become so much more hopeful about the world. I know that seems a little strange considering most people think these types of "exposure" trips are suppose to envoke all these strong emotions and painful realizationsa bout the world. I am not denying that our world is FULL of problems that need to be address and it is our responsibility to address those. But after getting to see, meet, and work along side SO many differnt people on this trip, and then taking a step back and seeing all these little endeavours compiled together to make something big. It really is amazing to see God's work throughout this country, whether it be through water testing, bible translation, or just working in a coffee shop. I am so hopeful and full of excitment about what God is doing. Now that being said, this trip has all convicted me to do more, but I feel like I am up for the adventure, whatever that might be.

The last few days God has really put on my heart the idea of living in reality and living in the moment. I am reading a great book called Lion on the Lamb by Brennan Manning and it talks a lot about childlike faith and not having expectations. This trip has been so great in getting to confront my brokenness and failures and accept them as part of me. I am working everyday to truly know Jesus more, not just know about him, but truly know Him. And to do that I know that I miss first accept His gift of unconditional love. It has been much harder than I expected but I know that accepting his love for me allows me love myself and thence allows me love others, which is the end goal.

Thats all for now...peace, love and coffee.

Matt-

Updates Updates Updates

Hello again! I am so sorry about not updating more regularly, but we have just not had the time nor a reliable internet connection for a while!
I have so much to talk about, I'm not sure I will be able to get it all out in one post...but I'll try...

So after testing water from 40 villages for about 3 days straight I think the whole team was ready to move on from Jammu. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad we did that because we actually DID something that will help the people there. I think that is so huge because usually on trips like this all you do is get to be "exposed" to the culture and the people, but rarely do you actually get to participate and help. While I obviously think the exposure factor is so important it was nice to actully have some tangible things we did while we were there. The workers in Jammu seemed truly gratful for our work and I am excited to see where the project will go in the future.

After Jammu we flew to Shrinigar which is even farther north in Kashmir. It is a beautiful area surrounded by moutains and lakes...but what I was not expecting was all the politcal and cultural conflict going on. I will try to give a brief overview of what is going on up there... So since the Kashmir area is so close to the Pakistan border, alliances were split between pak and india. In the 80's India sent in hundreds of thousands of military in to Kashmir to try to keep Indian rule over the area. Militant groups from Kashmir sprung up all over the place and many men snuck over the boarder into Pak to get trained as soldiers. The conflict still continues today as Kashmir is still flooded with over 700,000 indian military. There are literally on every single street corner...it took some getting used to. The people of Kashmir obviously don't like having all those military people there all the time so they often fight back and then huge mobs form and riots break out. It is typical to have hartels and curfews on the city, where all the shops close and everything in the city stops in protest. The people of Kashmir are almost living as slaves, stuck in Kashmir. And then the other people in India see Kashmiris as traitors because they think they don't want to be a part of India. So basically they are just trapped in this militaristic state. It really is horrible. I realize i don't really understand all of the conflict, but our hosts told us a lot and I am reading a book now by a Kashmiri author that gives good insight into this history that many don't know about. Anyway, I will be reading more about this and would love to chat about it more when I get state side again!... But anyway, now that you understand sorta that background I can tell more about my personal experience there. So right as we get off the airplane we were told that two Kashmiri women had be raped the day before and many people suspected it was by Indian military there. So riots broke out all over the city and everything was very unstable. So we picked up from the airport by our friends and as we are driving back to our guest house on the road our diver suddenly stops the car and turns around. We were told that a riot had broken out just a few miles ahead and the miliatary were tear gasses everyone on the street! So we waited a while on the side of the road as miliatary trucks zoombed by... after a few minutes everything calmed down and we continued on the road... but then just a few minutes later as I was looking at the window I saw a bunch of kids on the side of the road...as i looked closer and as we passed i saw they were holding stones and ready to throw them right at our car! The next thing I knew we were all ducking and rocks were pelting our SUV! Ok, i know this sounds kinda intense but don't freak out (Mom :-) ) because our host said they were just kids that wanted to probably cause problems since all the grown ups around them were rioting. They didn't pick us out because we were foreingers or anything, in fact many people told us later forenigers are usually the safest during times of curfew and hartels. But nevertheless it was an exciting enterance into Shringar and Kashmir! Whew!

Ok, so next we arrived at our guest house which was very nice and surrounded by gardens and stuff...none of us were took shaken up about all the happenings of the morning but we were intrigued by this new place... The plan was to leave the city and go up into the mountains to trek in the Himalays for a few days. We had to watch the news to make sure we could travel on the roads and that we wouldn't run into any riots of anything but everything worked out and we left the next morning..in the pouring rain. The ride up to the mountains was beautiful, even with the rain, it was breathtaking. It reminded my a lot of national parks I had been out west with tall trees and a river full of rushing rapids below the huge snow capped moutains. We had planned to trek and camp that first day, but the rain did not let up so we stayed in a little cabin which was actually really cool. Then guess what happened?? IT STARTED SNOWING! We look out the window of the cabin and we were like wait..is that...snow??!?! I don't think I would have ever expected to find snow flurries in india in june. its just plain funny! It made everything even more beautiful. After the snow stopped and I took a nice warm nap, it began to warm up outside and we all took a walk to meet some of the nomadic people that our friends work with that live in the area. These people are buffalo and sheep herders and live up in the mountains during this time of year. We walked for a while and then came to a cluster of mud huts with thatched roofs... the family led us all in their home and we all sat around the clay stove as the women made some bread like thing and tea. Our friends has known this family for a while and the man had become a believer through him. We all sat in the dark on the dirt floor as our friend told the story of Jesus' birth in the native tounge of the people...it was beautiful. The people don't have a written language so everything they do is by oral tradition. That is how they learn about Jesus, through stories.

Ok i know this is getting long but I still have so much more to tell... you can stop now and get a snack or just come back later if you want...:)

So the next day we woke up early for our trek. It had cleared up and was a beautiful day. We started up the moutain with 5 horses carrying the kids and our packs. It was pretty steep for the first hour but then leveled out and started going through shady forests. I had forgotten how much I loved the mountains and hiking and it made me want to take a trip out west when I get back home! We walked for about 4 hours and stopped for lunch. Marko Lindsay Sonja and I decieded to continue walking to the river while the others turned back. We made it to this bluff overlooking the river and a waterfall that was probably one of the most amazing places I had ever been. Pictures will not do it justice. We sat there for a while just taking it in. We made it to the river, which was from a glacier at the top of the mountain. The water was crystal clear and so cold... we all filled up our filtered (supposedly) water bottles and drank it. Life was good. ha.

We trekked back to camp and stayed at the cabin again that night. That night we all sat around one Kerosyne lamp and talked for hours. Our friends shared stories about their work with the people and about their struggles and joys. One man from Brazil was with us and he shared many amazing stories that left us all in tears. It was a very overwhelming night for me because after seeing God's amazing creation in such a huge way during the day I was already feeling small, but then as we talked more about God's call for our lives and all the needs and cries of the world, it just became almost too much to handle. One thing the Brazlian said that really broke me was this statement: "The price has been paid...they just have to know." Upon hearing those words i felt like i had been punched in the gut... i was bombarded with guilt and confusion, wondering why was I so priveliged to know Jesus and have access to so much, but these people don't have that opportunity? And then if I know this amazing news of grace and salvation, how am I not responsible for sharing it?? "The just have to know"... Seems so simple....but it scares me so much.

It is funny becuase after getting to interact with people working on the field this whole trip I was pretty sure that I did NOT want to be a missionary. The idea of "evangelism" weirded me out and I had this very tainted view all that. However, I have got to see much more of the interworkings of the mission life and it is not what I thought exactly. I guess in my head I just saw crazy Jesus freaks running around throwing the gospel at people. But it is all about relationships. I knew that to an extent, but now I got to see first hand that your day could consist of just going to coffee 5 times with different people and talking. All of the people we worked with were in country for some other business, like handicrafts or water testing or whatever. Just something to help the people but more importatnly, to get to know them. It is kinda hard to explain all this in writing but I would love to talk more about this with anyone later.

Ok, one last thing. So Todays is my first day in Pune. alone. ha! Last night i left the rest of the group and headed to Pune to hang out with some friends Janet has that own a Coffee shop there. My flights were smooth and I got to my guest house fine (run by texans! ha) But I won't lie...I realized that I have rarely ever been truly alone. I felt it last night. It was amost oppressive. But at the same time, that made me need God in the moment. I feel like in our comfortable lives, we rarely NEED God....It is a scary and liberating feeling. This morning I went to the coffee shop and met some other people from the US here. I am excited to see where God moves me in the city. Keep praying for boldness and strength for me. I am doing great, but I can always use the prayers.

Ok, I'll save the rest for another day this is too long and I'm hot. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! Leave some comments, or facebook me or email me!

-Matt

Lots to update...

Hello friends!

Sorry it has been so long, had some technology issues in Nepal and after 3 failed attempts to write the blog, I finally just gave up! So let me give a quick update on everything that has happened in the past few days...

We arrived in Nepal and were amazing to find the weather to be absolutely beautiful and cool!! Such a contrast from the Kalcutta furnace! Our hotel was more like a resort and was in the valley surrounded by an amazing view of the mountains! What a blessing! During our stay in Nepal we worked with Janets friends who had been working there for the past 20 years doing bible translation for village people groups. The first day we got to meet his team, which contsisted of many men from the village. A few of them shared with us their testimonies which were truly moving... They expressed their desire to know more about the Lord and they were so excited and full of passion about reading the word. One of the men told us that he worked on this translations project becasue he so badly wanted his family and friends to know the word of God! WOW... These stories really convicted me because it made me realize how much I take for granted the fact that I have had the bible in my language always at my finger tips. These men were craving to hear the word in their own tounge and I take advantage of the my easy assessibility. After hearing their stories, we were all left in tears... it was beautiful and refreshing to hear...

We spent the rest of our time in Nepal just touring around with our wonderful hosts. They took us to many Buddhist temples adn shrines, which i found to be beautiful and interesting. I really can appriciate many ideas from Buddhism and want to learn more about it. We also spend a lot of time in the market areas and I successfully traded out my entire wardrobe for a new one! ha! Lots of light linen pants and shirts...very cool.

One day we got to go to a few of the villages that the translators worked in, which was really cool and gave a new perspective. I loved the village feel, so laid back and peaceful.

After Nepal, we flew back to Delhi for a night and then we were off to Jammu, which is way up north India. We will be spending about a week in this area. While we are here we are working with a group here and doing water testing in almost 40 villages! The hope of this project is that we can test the water in these villages and then show them the samples, many of which are full of coloforms, which is bacteria from human and animal feases. After we show them that their water isnt clean we hope to do some community orgainzing and get them to understand that this dirty water is what is making their kids sick and even die. We also brought with us water filters and we can help them build filters for their water.

Yesterday we broke up into three teams and went out with translators to the different villages to get water samples. My team consisted of myself, two missionaries who were just a little bit older than me that are stationed here for 2 years, and then our translator who was also much age. We drove around all day to different villages and talked to the people there and told them that we wanted to test their water to see if it iwas healthy or not.

This is a new project for this group and many of these villages that we visited had have limited to no contact with the outside peoeple. It was cool to think that my presense might be their first immpression of westerners or even Christians. While the water testing has obvious practical uses, the main reason this group started this project was to give them a reason to go into the villages and build relatioships with the people. It was a really cool day and got to see a lot!

Today we are actually doing the tests back at their home. I feel like I am in Chemistry lab again, with all my chemicals and test tubes... We have already found that more than half of the villages we tested had traced of fecal matter in their drinking water. It is cool to be just a small part of this long process that is about to begin with these people. I knew this already, but this is just reconfirming to me that real ministry takes so much time. No matter what it may look like, building relationships is key and it takes so much time and effort!

Well i feel like I might have missed some things for sure, but I need to get back to work!

I love you all so much, please leave me some comments of send me an email! I would love to hear from you!

OH, I forget to tell you all that I have a plan for the second part of my summer here!!! I will be working in Pune at a coffee shop and helping our new friends who own it start up their second shop! I am so excited to help out however I can. They said they are also excited for me to be there at this time because they are trying to get a fresh perspective since they are trying to cater more to college ages people! Their story is so amazing and they believe that ministry can be integrated into normal society and that is what they are doing with their coffee shop which is located in a predominatly muslim area. They are constant lights in their area just by living their lives like Christ. I can't wait to be there and help!! More details to come!!

LOVE YOU ALL!!

Matt-

Not so glamorous...

Hello friends! Each day I am here I feel like I am feeling more at home... I love Kolcutta and despite it's extreme poverty and despair, I have felt very connected here. It seems like such a long time ago that we arrived and i feel like since we just jumped in head first i have learned so much in such a short period of time...

Yesterday we served at Mother Teresa's Home for the Dying... While it will definetly be an experience I will never forget, it was not exactly what I was expecting. I think when you tell you people you are going to serve at Mother teresa, it gets put on this very glamorous level. I guess that is understandable considering almost everyone knows who mother T is, but let me just say that it is not so glamorous...

We woke up at 5 am to get to Mother House at 6 for mass. We walked in and they had just started...all the sisters (about 80?) where there and about 30 visitors where there on the side. We sat down and worshiped with them. I really enjoyed it, the message was great and just being there was very surreal. After mass we went down to have Chai and bread and then all the volunteers were divided up to go to the different house. There are about 6 house for different groups, like one for little babies, one fro women, one for the dying, etc... Sitting down eating there were people from all over the world there...we met some from argentina, japan, austrailia, UK and US. It was pretty cool to see everyone there, for whatever reason, ready to serve. Some were there for their first tiem like us, others had been there for weeks, months, or even years. We got assigned to the Home for the Dying, which has about 100 people, men and women, on their last legs of life. Inside, i was glad we got placed there just because it was the one I had heard about and it seemed like the one that would be the most impactful... not to sound selfish. So we took a bus to the home and then walked a little ways and finally made it.
We walked in and it was a very simple building, with rows of beds laid out with men and women lieing on them. We immediatly wend to the back where they were doing laundry. Everyone kinda seemed like they knew what they were doing already but finally someone told me what I could do. We were cleaning the clothes from the patients...but not in a washer...but instead we would put the clothes into this stone tub full of water, and then step on them with our feet and then we would put them into another tub full of water and do the same then finally they would go into a final tub and then wrung out...

I could write forever about all the tasks that we did that morning but that would probably bore you but the point of all this is that what we did, was nothing extrodanary or out of the ordinary...in fact we were doing things I could have done at home or any hospital of nursing home. I mean it was very cool to look around and think that I was working where Mother Teresa did, but at the same time it was nothing to brag about...

After we finished the laundry we had some time to interact with the patients....I'll admit that was very hard for me at first just because these men were literally dying before out eyes. I don't think I had ever been around that kind of sickness and despair before. Although again, looking past that, they were just men, some of them young, maybe even my age. Some were so sick they couldn't respond or even move, but many were alert and I even played catch with one of them for a while with a small ball.

The morning shift ended at 12 with a small lunch for the volunteers on the roof. It was so amazing to get to talk with the other people working. This small Japanese man who had worked there for the last 5 years on a off, took me under his wing and showed me the ropes...he said i "looked nice" and was very helpful which I really appreciated. We also met many young people, a couple of guys from Canada that had been traveling around the world for the past 8 months...and we met a guy my age from Chicago that had been working for a non profit and he travels all over the world. There were couples, old men, young women...it was such a melting pot of people, I loved it.

We were told that the afternoon shift started again at 3 and so we road the underground back home and went to a small cafe....it was so surreal that we traveled from extreme poverty to wealth in about 20 minutes...it was hard to stomach....

We weren't sure if we were going to go back at 3 because we tired, but Lindsey Marco and I decieded that we wanted to go back. It was cool to be out in the city by ourselves and actually feel like i knew where i was going..sorta... We got back to the home and it was very quiet and they said we could just sit with the patients...I gave many of the men massages since they were so sore and acheing... I sat next to a man that as he took each breath it sounded like it might be his last...each breath gave out an audible wince of pain... One of the other volunteers had brought a guitar and was playing songs, which brought a very soothing feel to the room. I massaged one man's leg for about 30 minutes and just held his hand...it was a very intense moment as we just locked eyes...I don't know if what I was doing was even helping, but I hope that just being there did something... Some of the men had TB, some had aids, some had limbs fully amputated...it was a room full of pain and suffering...as I was sitting there again I felt that this was nothing that I wanted to tell people about in remincent stories about "serving at Mother Teresa's". This is not to say that I am not so gratful for this experience, I just don't know if it is something I would want to brag about or do for a long period of time. We talked alot on this trip about the differnce between "crisis intervention" and "development". Mother Teresa worked with crisis intervention, and it was necessary. But i think it is also important to take a step back and try to figure out why we have these problems in the first place.

I had a lot more on my mind but am having trouble getting it into words... I have found it is better not to force it but let the processing come when it does on its own...

To sum it up, yesterday was a very challenging day, I am probably more sore than i have been in years... my whole body aches...but then i think about the man who i was sitting with who must ahve been in pain 100 times more... I am glad i got to experience this and it will be something i remember forever... but I also think I learned that at the end of the day, it was still just work, hard work... serving at the home for the dying isn't any "better" than serving any where else...God isn't going to look more highly on my day yesterday than any other day in my life prior...

So that pretty much sums up yesterday... Today we just got back from Emmanuel Ministries, which is a school for the poor. SO AMAZING! I will tell more later, but we spent the morning there playing with the kids and it brought me so much joy...

Love you all... Off to Nepal tomorrow for a few days! I'm excited! don't know what to expect!

I like traveling with Janet and this group...we laugh alot. Even when things go wrong...which they do a lot, but we just laugh. it is so great!

Still laughing,
matt-

Hello from INDIA!!!

Wow, I am actually here!! Sorry it took me a few days to update this, but we have been going goin going non stop since we arrived...I will try to update you all quickly with what all we have done...

So our trip started off great with running into the Baylor kenya team in the dallas airport only to find that we were on their same flight to London! It was great to travel with Amanda, Mel, Ben and Jamie for 8 hours to the UK. ha...the flight was smooth execpt when i woke up 5 inches from the women next to me breast feeding her newborn....good times. We finally arrived in Delhi late that night and took a taxi to our hostel. Leaving the airport I was immediatly blasted with a wave of heat and interesting sights sounds and smells....It reminded me a lot of kenya at first...We made it to the YWCA where we were staying...very nice place. AC!! praise the Lord!

The next say we woke up and went to some different temples... we went to a Hindu temple and a Hare Krishna temple...I have never really been around that before and I was a little uncomfortable at first...i felt like a major outsider, but it was really cool to see the different (and sometimes bizarre) ways other people worship. Later that day we met with this man named Thom Wolfe. He and his wife live in Delhi and he specializes in teaching about world relgions. He was very kind and very knowledgeable. I wish I hadn't have been so jet lagged becaus all of his information was very interested, but i had trouble retaining it all! HE had a team of college students from Flordia (near west palm beach...dont worry i threw out the stuart connection meg) they were in Delhi for 3 weeks working with some churches there. IT was cool to talk with them and here about what they were doing and what they were struggling with already.

The next day we visited a muslim shrine...to get there we had to walk way back into this slum like area...as we started walking further in we had to remove our shoes and as we handed them over to some random guy i was sure we would never see them again...we kept walking through the market place barefoot (it reminded me a little of Kibera in Kenya, so being barefoot was a little intesnse) we finally made it to the shrine and went it. There were people everywhere walking around the tomb. Only men were allowed inside so Marco and I went in and go to see the inside. Again i felt very out of place but it was cool to see. AFter that we got to go shopping for our indian garb. IT was actually pretty fun...got some cool stuff...i feel like i look the part now (ha not) After that we went back and met with Dr. Wolfe again and listened to more of his lectures...very interesting, but a bit over my head at times.

After that we took a taxi the airport and flew to Kolcuta. Janet warned us that the poverty here would be like anything we had ever seen. It is so hot and full of despair... The YWCA we stay in here is not quite as nice and has NO AC! ah! This morning we had our first interaction with the street beggars and children. We went to bought some kids KFC and talked with them for a bit...they were very fun but it was so sad because there are people EVERYWHERE that need help. After that we walked around the city (got lost) but it was good to get acquainted with the city and then we went to Mother House, which was mother teresa's home and minstry. THey werent taking visitors at the time but we are going back tonight and tomorrow.

Ok, i know this is super long and will try better to update this more frequently. The trip is already been very trying and emottionally draining but it is great. I feel like God is moving but i am not quite sure how and where...I am excited to see where else he leads me. We are here in Kolcutta untill sunday then off to Nepal!

Love you all soooo much and thanks for the prayers and comments
PS sorry for all the typos and mispellings...no spell check on this comp !!!

Love God, Love people,
Matt----))

Getting ready! Thanks for reading!

So I have been told by so many people that writing down my experiences for this trip is going to be crucial and even though the thought of journaling pains me (although I think it is just because i don't like looking at my horrible handwriting, so maybe a blog will be better) , I am going to listen to them and keep this blog for my trip. 

For those of you who might not know, I am leaving tomorrow (May 17th) for India! I am going with Mission Waco, I local non-profit here in Waco. There will be a team of 5 of us going and we will be traveling all over the country working and serving in a variety of ways. After about a month, the group will part ways, and I will be staying in India until Aug 2nd on my own. I have lots of options of what I will be doing during that time, but I haven't made definitive plans yet...I will be keep you all posted about that part of the adventure! 

This trip is full of unknowns for me. But I could not be more excited. Despite not knowing exactly what I will be doing this summer, I have come to the place where I just know that God cannot use this summer for bad; Although it might be a little scary, I know that God will use me in the ways He needs and I can't wait to see what that looks like. 

If I have learned one this past year (for those of you who know me, you know I have learned more ha) it would be that we don't grow unless we struggle. This trip will be full of struggles, and also full of growth.   I mean lets be honest, I am going to be in a country, more or less by myself, for 3 months... and I don't even know where I will be most of the time! Am I crazy?...maybe a little, but I just know that the times where everything that is familiar and comfortable to us is taken away are the times we truly have to rely on God and we begin see Him in a brand new way. 

I can't wait to see God this Summer.  Through my fears, tears, and lots of sweat, I have no doubt that God will open up some unexpected doors this summer, ones that will lead me to places I have never been, or maybe even never imagined were there. 

I won't lie, I'm scared. But more importantly,  I'm ready. I'm just a kid who wants to learn to love people.  I can only imagine the ways God is going to break and bless this crazy college graduate ready to "save the world" ha. 

More to come! See ya in India!! You know I'll be dancing to Jai Ho right off the plane! :) 

Love God, Love People

Matt-