Well, here we are. Last full day in India. I know it sounds so cliche, but time really has gone so fast! Yesterday at church someone asked me what all I had done while on my trip to India. That being a question I heard a lot while I was here, I started on my ramble of things I had done. About half way through it, I realized that this "little ramble" was getting rather long. I have done so much. Sometimes I feel like TOO much (just kidding). Looking back on the two months I am SO grateful that I decided to stay longer than the original planned trip. I honestly can say that the trip would not have been even half as impactful without my extended time here in Pune. I love the contrast of the two months; the first getting exposed to so much so fast, the 2nd, getting to spend time investing in people and seeing real life in India. The combination of those 2 months has been life changing.

I realized yesterday, as I was talking with my host, that it has literally taken me the entire 2 months to just observe...I finally feel comfortable enough to start actual asking good questions and putting things together in my head. This just reaffirms to me that it takes SO long to actually start to understand another culture. Even 2 months seems like a short time to me now. It is funny because it seems like the longer I am here, the more I realize how much I DON'T know. But that is ok. I have talked to people that have been here for 11 years and they told me they still learn new things everyday. I like that.

I don't really know how to "end my blog" and sum up everything I have learned. I mean honestly this isnt really the end at all..in fact, the processing is just beginning in a lot of ways. As I wrote this blog throughout the trip, I tried to just let my thoughts flow out naturally and I never went back or proof read anything. So today I actually went back and started at the beginning and read the entire blog for the first time. It was interesting seeing how I have grown and changed even in this short time. Apart from the blog, I have been keeping a handwritten journal, mostly just for little notes and prayers that came in my head when I wasn't near a computer. I was looking back over that as well today and noticed something cool that I wanted to share; throughout my time here I often wrote out prayers to God just because it allowed me to get my thoughts out better. Some of the prayers were answered in really amazing ways...I would like to just share a few parts of them with you...

May 19th- Day 2

"Lord, I feel so small and far away. I see where I should be but feel like there is no way to get there. Help me break through these walls that are holding me back. Break me down so I can fully experience what you have for me. Push me beyond my limits and make me need you! I'm scared, but I have to be; I'm lost, but I am looking. I want to know your love so I can give your love to others. Amen."

May 24th-

"...I have been thinking about unconditional love today. If Your love is truly unconditional, it should amaze me right? What if I have just accepted that conditional love of my friends and family as unconditional so I don't really understand how great Your love really is. Show me what Your love really looks like..."

June 29th-

"Dear God, I am feeling so restless and useless. Fill me with your hope and peace. I want to hear you call and respond accordingly. If you tell me to go, I'll go; if you tell me to stay, let me accept that and rest. Thank you that you are a God who answers prayers and you are so big and powerful. Continue to show me your power. Keep my eyes and heart open to seeing you in small ways and allow those small moments to deeply penetrate my soul. Let them satisfy me and make my whole. Lord I know that I will only find rest in you so just allow me to know you are present and allow me to trust you recklessly, even when I don't know what is to come in the very next minute of my life. Let me share in your extreme compassion for all people, including myself. Continue to help me to walk humbly as I do my best to serve you here, knowing fully well that although my best will never be good enough alone, with you it is more than enough. Thank you! Amen."

July 8th-

"Hey God, I want to spend this moment praising you for being so faithful to me! When I am down, you allow me to stay there just long enough to learn something then you rush in to rescue me and bring me new life. I thank you that you allow me to be content in silence or in busyness. I pray that I can continue to spend my times of silence pondering you and talking with you. It is hard to use my extra time, whether we are waiting in a line or driving in the car, to focus on you. But I pray that my desire each day, first and foremost, will be set on knowing you more. I pray that I don't think too much about this week to come and that I can live in the reality of You and experience each day as if it is my last. Allow me to process what I have seen, be intentional about what I am doing, and be hopeful for the future. But most of all, let me be reminded each day that it is not about me, but rather all the world is in motion because You exist! Praise the God who is to big yet so tender! Amen."

Thank you all for reading and praying...this has been quite the trip. I am pretty sure I did NOTHING that a "typical tourist" to India does, but because of that my trip was all the more rich. I can't wait to talk to you all more in person or phone or email...don't hesitate to contact me! Love you all!

-Matt